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Trade Up Your Life

Your Survivor's Guide from a Wall Street Moron

You crushed it. Scored the “right” career, and it wasn’t easy. So, you’re living the dream, right? Except the 80-hour weeks are crushing your soul, your workout clothes are collecting dust, and that tremor in your hand isn't from too much coffee — it’s from too much stress. Folks think you're killing it, but inside, you're wondering how long you can keep this up. The golden handcuffs are starting to feel like real ones, and you feel like a moron, because you signed up for a life sentence. 

It’s gonna be OK. I got you.

If You’re Checking Out Steve Thomas, A Few Things Might Be True

On the Outside

  • Your calendar either looks like a game of Tetris gone sideways, or there isn’t anything meaningful on it at all

  • Sleep? That's for the weak (at least that's what you tell yourself)

  • Your relationship with your video game system (or your Bloomberg terminal, if you’re like me) is better than your real relationships

On the Inside

  • You're tired of pretending you've got it all figured out because you fucking don’t, and you know it

  • You feel like you’re getting somewhere if you hustle and chase good money, but the cost feels too high

  • Deep down, you know something's gotta give, that you’re not sure about this path, or if you’re on a path at all

Don’t sacrifice everything that makes life worth living for their definition of “success.” Define success for yourself: Align your motivation with a purpose.

Meditation & My Book Won’t Save You from Yourself

Only You Can Do That, But I Promise to be the Dirty Mirror you need and deserve!

I'm Steve Thomas. In 20 years on Wall Street, I used my hustle to go from back office buffoon to highly successful (by their standards) Convertible Bond buffoon. I've split my pants in client meetings, smoked myself nearly braindead to cope, and learned meditation as a survival tactic. I’ve always known how to hustle and get it done, but Wall Street taught me how to destroy myself chasing success.

​Now? I help people like you succeed without unnecessary suffering. No kumbaya bull, just real strategies from someone who's been in the trenches. Think of me as your bartender serving up only the cold hard truth in pro shots.

Try Me Out, for Free

Learn to take a pause to listen to what your gut’s telling you, so you can make a plan to do something about it. Take me with you on a walk — you know you need it.

Your Plan for a Better Life

Get Real:

  • Read my book "How To Be Successful On Wall Street and Why You Absolutely Should Not Do It.” It’s a Moron’s Memoir and a good fuckin’ read. Be careful not to shart from laughter. Just sayin. 

  • Learn from my face-plants so you don't have to make the same mistakes, or remember your own.

  • Get the uncompromised truth about surviving and thriving in business, with no bullshit or agenda.

Get Tools:

  • Watch or listen to Only Stupid Questions while you get right with your life choices and have a talk with the you who’s holding you back. OSQ’s for life. 

  • Use my Real Life Situation Meditations  - R.L.S.M. (because they’re free, and you need stress management that works in the real world)

  • Develop practical strategies that fit into the life you’ve been manifesting around you, so you can make little changes that make a big difference. See beyond the cosmic joke.

Get Better: 

  • Crush it at work without getting crushed by work

  • Build genuine REAL-ationships with clients (without destroying your liver)

  • Walk backwards through life to find balance and your way forward. Trust me, it works.

Buy the book now.

Your future self — and your doctors, your family, and therapists — will thank you.

If You Don't Change:

  • The Compounding interest of stress will only be an investment in your own demise

  • Your mental health will keep deteriorating as you become a shell of your former self

  • The back of you baseball card will read “another business burnout who couldn't hack it”

  • You may just die on the fuckin desk. I’ve seen it happen.

Listen, I Give Away My Best Stuff For Free, So You Can:

  • Laugh a little while you master the art of high performance without high anxiety

  • Learn to see stress for what it really is, and manage it like the hustler you are

  • Build a sustainable career that doesn't sacrifice your soul

  • Discover how to be a Wall Street Warrior without becoming a Wall Street Casualty

So, What’s it Mean to Trade Up Your Life?

You can have it all — success, sanity, and yes, even a life that doesn't require beta blockers to make it through Tuesday. But first you've got to admit that your "work hard, play harder" lifestyle is just socially acceptable self-destruction in a custom suit. Stop treating your body like a junk bond and your mind like a 24/7 trading desk. Trade in that toxic blend of Adderall, alcohol, and anxiety for a sustainable portfolio of wealth and wellness. Because let's face it — all the money in the world won't mean shit if you're too burned out for real relationships or too dead to spend your money.

Join the Movement

Listen to the first chapter of my book, free, when you subscribe. We won’t spam you — we will send Real Life Situation Meditations and answers to your stupid questions, as well as other kick-ass content. This is a grassroots initiative, with emphasis on the grass.

Thanks for submitting!

Disclaimer: The insights and guidance shared in How to Succeed on Wall Street and Why You Absolutely Should Not Do It are based on S.A. Thomas's personal experiences and reflections within the finance industry. This content is provided for informational purposes only and should not be considered financial, legal, or professional advice. Readers are encouraged to seek advice from qualified professionals tailored to their specific circumstances before making any financial or career-related decisions.

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